Victor Passed Away on Sunday, August 9th

Victor suffered terribly for 3 days but he is finally at peace with God in Heaven. My heart is broken - I have lost my soul mate and the love of my life. I know that all of his family and friends will be in mourning for the loss of this very special, beautiful man - no one in world can replace him and he will be missed forever.

His funeral arrangements are as follows: Collins Calhoun Funeral Home, 19 Lincoln Avenue, Rutherford, NJ - Viewing will be on Wednesday, August 12th - 2:00-4:00 pm and 6:00-8:00pm. The funeral services will be on Thursday, August 13th at 11:00 am and he will be laid to rest at Hillside Cemetery, Lyndhurst, NJ.

Any donations can be made to: Compassionate Care Hospice, 532 Lafayette Road, Sparta, NJ 07871 -They were the most helpful and supportive - His nurse Kathy and his home aide, Cindy loved Vic as much as we all did and they were the best in making Vic's last days as comfortable as they could.

I also want to Thank all our our family and friends for their continued support, love and prayers during these difficult times. This support from you all was of great comfort to Victor.

Update 7/29

Vic is almost totally bedridden. He is very weak but his mind is still very strong. His nights have been same for the past few days with waking every 2 hours for his medications. He has been put on an automatic pain killer pump, which he can control when he needs more pain relief. I am in charge of giving him his nausea, blood pressure, heart rate, diabetes and blood clot thinner medications. And basically keeping him comfortable. He was also put on a stomach pump to continually drain his stomach. His nurse came today to adjust it and so far he seems a little better with his nausea. We'll have to wait until tonight for the real test. Night time seems to be the worst for him.

Barbara

VICTOR IS HOME WITH HOSPICE CARE

My mom's laptop is not being very cooperative, so she has asked me to update the blog for her.

Vic was in the hospital until Tuesday afternoon. The docs were debating on whether they should send him to a hospice facility or to send him home. Victor really wanted to go home, so that's where the docs sent him.

The Hospice group is called Compassionate Care. Vic has a nurse who will visit with him 3 times a week and a home health aide who will visit Monday through Friday for a few hours a day. We are impressed with how compassionate the hospice workers really are. They have been very supportive and helpful.

The first night Vic was home turned out to be horrible. He was given a starter kit filled with meds for his first night home, but one of the meds made him sick to his stomach. The nurse was able to straighten out his meds, and his nights have been better for him.

My mom fell at work last week and broke her foot. She was given a removable boot/cast to wear so she can get around. She has been limping around while trying to care for Vic. This has been very hard on her, but she is a trooper! Kristen, Dave, and I have been trying to take "shifts" to stay at the house so that my mom can rest or tend to Vic uninterrupted. Vic needs to take pain meds every two hours, so we can take over the med duties while my mom gets a little bit of sleep.

Although Vic is on many different pain killers, he is still very alert and coherent. He is still his feisty, funny, sometimes thick-headed self. Just last night he played a joke on Dave. Dave stayed for some hours in the evening so that my mom could get some sleep. When he went to give Victor his medicine, Vic told him that there were gloves on the table behind him. Dave wondered what he would need the gloves for, and Vic explained that he would need the gloves for the rectal exam he would have to do. Poor Dave was taking his duties very seriously so he had no idea that Vic was playing around. Dave told Vic that mom did not explain that a rectal would be necessary. Vic then told him he was busting his chops! When Vic told me the story this morning, we were both laughing hysterically! It's good to see Vic laughing.

If you would like to visit with Vic, please call my mom and she will arrange a time.

Tracey

Update - July 14th

Vic is still in Morristown Memorial Hospital. He seems to take one step forward and two steps back. We thought he might be released by this Thursday and the doctor was hoping to give him his first dose of chemo, but as of yesterday, he is still in a lot of pain and hasn't been able to get out of bed. The doctors have given him stronger doses of pain killers, which is making him very groggy, sleepy and "out of it" most of the time. It's getting harder and harder to keep my emotions in check while I'm with him. He wants to come home in the worst way and he wants to continue with our life like it was before. If he doesn't improve by Thursday, I have a meeting with the doctor on Friday at 8:00 am to discuss our next course of action. Please keep praying.

Barbara

Update - July 7th

Vic is still in the hospital with very little improvement. He is still vomiting, even though he has the stomach tube in and large amounts of fluid are being drained from his stomach hoping to relieve the blockage in his small intestine. His heart rate is still quite high. The doctors want to run more tests, an x-ray of his stomach and a doppler on his leg to check on the blood clots. They are talking about taking out the nose to stomach tube and putting in a permanent tube through his stomach wall. But right now it's a "wait and see" until the blockage is cleared up. The doctors believe that the cancer is now surrounding his intestines and this is causing the blockage. At this time, Victor is very weak and is sleeping most of the time. We don't know at this time when he will be released from the hospital. Please continue to pray for Victor - he needs all the help he can get.
Thank you.
Barbara

Released and Back Again!

Vic was released from the hospital Wednesday afternoon, July 1st. Late Friday afternoon, July 3rd, I had to bring him to the emergency room at Morristown Memorial. He was having severe abdominal pains and he started vomiting again. This time, though, he was brought into the treatment area almost immediately but was put on a stretcher in the hall of the treatment area because all the rooms were filled. He was there about an hour and was getting sicker by the minute until a very caring nurse took charge even though he wasn't in her area. She had him moved to a critical care room and then things started happening quickly. He was immediately scheduled for another Cat Scan and a multitude of blood tests. He now has pancreatitis and a blockage in his small intestine. He has also had a very high heart rate, so he has a heart monitor on his chest that gives his readings to the heart center in the hospital. Every six hours, a doctor from the heart center has to give him an injection to slow the heart rate down. He is still vomiting (which increases his heart rate) even though he now has a stomach tube inserted through his nose. They are trying to keep him as comfortable as possible with anti-nausea medicine and pain killers but this is a very big set-back for Vic. He missed our grandson Owen's birthday on July 4th and this has really upset him since we were also celebrating on the same day, our oldest grandson's, Justin, graduation from 8th grade. Now it looks like we're also not going to be able to go on vacation. To everyone wishing their best wishes and prayers for Vic - Thank you.

Vic in the hospital again - June 30th

Last Thursday, June 25th, I had to take Vic to Morristown Memorial's emergency room as he started feeling really sick. Our son-in-law came with us since I need another pair of eyes to drive home in the dark. We arrived at the hospital around 8:45 pm - he was finally taken at 12:30 am! What a nightmare! There wasn't a bed for him on the cancer floor of the hospital, so he had to stay in emergency until 11:00 am the next day. They did perform another Cat Scan and his doctors came to see him and they were trying to keep him as comfortable as possible. The Cat Scan revealed another very large area of fluid in the left side of his abdomen and another area in his pelvis. By this time, he was getting sick to his stomach on a regular basis despite all the nausea medicine they were giving him. Yesterday, they did another "pumping out" of the fluid and also inserted a drainage tube. We thought the drainage tube would be more or less "permanent" for now but Vic was told by the doctor that it will probably be removed before he goes home. He's feeling a little better today, however, he's been running a fever since Sunday and has been in IV antibiotics since. They've done several blood tests and cannot determine where the fever is coming from. He also has to keep his leg propped up and on heat every 4 hours - the blood clots in his leg are numerous and it's now starting to bother him when he walks. Vic thinks he's coming home tomorrow, but I really doubt that. I'll update again when he comes home.

Another Exciting Week - June 24th

Vic was doing okay on the TPN until late Sunday night. He went to get up and stepped on the feeder line to his port and wound up bending the needle. The TPN nurse instructed him on how to remove the needle (this was around 11:30 pm) At this time, I was sound asleep and had no idea what had happened until I woke at 4:00 to get ready for work and Vic came into the kitchen with his arms outstretched and asked me if I noticed anything different about him (he was thrilled to be off the pump!) He told me what happened and also said that he had to see the vascular surgeon before they put in another IV needle because they thought that something could be wrong with the port. The only day he could get an appointment with him was for Tuesday. Around Noon on Monday (hours after the IV was removed) Vic called and told me that his right leg was very swollen and red. He called his oncology office and they told him to come in immediately and that he would have to have a Doppler done on his leg.

Our son-in-law drove him to the hospital and I left work and met them at the Cancer Center. Vic hadn't eaten anything for lunch and by the time I got there, he was already feeling very sick with nausea. He had just been examined by the nurse practitioner, when he got sick (violently). Every nurse, not with another patient, came running. They immediately put him a reclining chair and started giving him IV anti-nausea medicine. The Doppler couldn't be done until he was settled down. The medicine did help and the Doppler was done around 5:30 and was found that he has one large and several small blood clots in his right leg. He was given blood thinning shots to inject into his abdomen once a day for a month. The oncologist also feels that he's filling with "fluid" again in his abdomen and that will have to be drained again - possibly by next week, if Victor keeps getting sick like this, just like before it was drained the first time.

Vic and I went to see the surgeon yesterday for his port and there seems to be nothing wrong with it. As far as the TPN, the nurse came this morning to insert a new needle, so for tonight, I'm good to go to torture him and set him up on his "feeding bag" again tonight.

Vic Home Again From Morristown Hospital

Vic had to be admitted to Morristown Hospital last Thursday, June 11th, as he was not digesting his food and was getting sick everytime his stomach was empty. He's lost over 40 lbs since the surgery. He was not getting any nutrition and as the oncologist explained, since the cancer has spread to his liver, any nutrition he was getting, it was being absorbed by the cancer. His oncologist arranged with a nutrition doctor for Vic to be given TPN (or liquid nutrition) for 12 hours a night. A surgeon had to implant another port and that was done Thursday night. We were at the hospital from 7 am and somehow the hospital screwed up the doctor's orders and he wasn't given a room until after 11 am. A receptionist in the new heart center in Morristown was extremely helpful in trying to get Vic into a room and make him more comfortable (by this time, he was getting sicker by the minute). After his oncologist came in and discovered his orders weren't being followed, everything moved along very quickly as far as the port being installed and getting his liquid nutrition. The doctor also ordered that he be seen by a diabetes doctor (his sugar levels are very high) and a stomach doctor. He was sent for a Cat Scan on Friday of his abdomen and it was found that he has a large amount of fluid building up in an area between his liver and his stomach. We also found out that the cancer is spreading very quickly into the liver and into the rest of his colon. His oncologist would like to start chemo again in two weeks, if he's responding to the TPN. The fluid was removed by a radiology doctor during another Cat Scan and over 2 liters of fluid was taken out! He said his belly went down immediately.

Victor came home from the hospital Tuesday night, June 16, and the doctors made arrangements for him to receive the TPN at home. I had to learn (with Tracey being my backup) to infuse the TPN bags with his insulin and vitamins, prepare his port, hook up his IV nutrition bags for the night, and unhook them after the 12 hours. I'm learning my new trade very quickly. The TPN bags are delivered to the house once a week (they have to be refrigerated, so I have to make room for these 7 very large bags of fluid in my refrigerator) along with all the supplies, needles, gloves, insulin, saline, etc. The nurse comes twice a week to take his vitals and blood samples and to change his port needle. He has been feeling a little better since the start of this nutrition but he can still only eat small amounts at a time and drink very little.

Back Again From Baltimore

We left for Baltimore at 4 am Friday morning. Vic did not feel well, especially since he did not eat anything from 8 o'clock the night before. His appointment at Mercy was at 9 am. We got to the hospital at 8:45 and had just checked in with the nurse, when he started getting sick. The nurse immediately started him on IV and some medicine to calm his stomach down, after I explained why he was sick. He had to wait for awhile since the doctor was doing another procedure but just before he was brought to do his procedure, he got sick again. The doctor was concerned because he was going under anesthesia, but then gave him additional medicine in his IV, which helped. He was out for about an hour and then the doctor came to see me to advise that the IVC filter would have to stay in Vic's artery as it contained a very large blood clot. In other words, the filter did the job it was supposed to. The doctor told me that if he had not had that filter, the blood clot would have gone to his lung and killed him instantly. Thank God we did not listen to that doctor in Hackensack Hospital who refused to put the filter in because "you're too young and never had a problem before" and "if there's a problem we can do it later". It would have been too late! I've always said to listen to a doctor with one ear and use your common sense with the other. This time that was true. Actually, the doctor told me on Friday that this filter procedure is mandatory at Mercy Hospital anytime someone is undergoing major surgery - especially cancer surgery.

Dr. Sardi had refused to do the surgery without this filter, which no doctor in New Jersey would insert. Anyway, the doctor also said that since this filter is FDA approved, he can keep it in long term. The blood clot should dissolve on its own but if Vic really wanted it out, we could go back there in 6 to 8 weeks. I don't think we'll do that - especially since Vic's primary doctor does not want it removed.

We left the hospital around 2:00 that afternoon and we were brought across the street to the Tremont Hotel. As usual, the hospital and the hotel staff were superb! We left for home on Saturday morning and it took us about 4 1/2 hours. Vic felt much better coming home probably because he had the IV's on Friday.

Vic is going back into the hospital (Morristown Memorial) on Thursday, June 11 to have a port inserted and start IV nutrition. He's expected to be there 3 to 4 days and the doctors have told us that when the infusion starts working, he'll start to feel much better. We won't know about the stomach drainage tube until he's further examined by the doctors in Morristown.

As always, Thanks for your thoughts and concerns and prayers.

June Update on Vic's Progress

I'm sorry I haven't updated this blog in a long while - there has been so much going on.

Victor's recovery is basically at a standstill. He's having problems eating and drinking liquids and what he does eat, he's not digesting properly. He's lost about 40 lbs since the surgery. He's also extremely tired all the time. Vic saw the Oncologist in Morristown 2 weeks ago and he referred Vic to a nutrition doctor. This doctor confirmed that Vic's immunity levels were very low and he is at a high risk for getting infections or worse, the Swine Flu. The nutrition doctor is pushing to have Vic admitted into Morristown Memorial next Friday, June 12th, for 3-4 days, to have another Port inserted in his chest and then be given IV nutrition. He will have to have this liquid nutrition given daily for about 12 hours a night from now on. This can be done at home after he's released from the hospital. The doctor believes he may also have some type of blockage and may require a tube inserted in his stomach to drain it. This is very discouraging to Victor because as everyone knows, his main love in life is "food" and since I love to cook for him, this is upsetting to me as well.

Tomorrow, we have to travel back to Mercy Hospital in Baltimore, to have his temporary blood clot filter removed. We expect to be back home by Saturday night.

To continue this nightmare of a saga, two weeks ago, we found out that Victor's mother also has liver cancer. She is currently being treated with chemo pills and has not had a reaction to them so far.

And, last week, one of our grandsons was hospitalized with a severe infection in his leg - and after he was sent home with oral antibiotics, he developed a reaction to them and now has hives on top of the infection.

Update - One Week Home

It was one week ago Saturday that we came home. We arrived around 4:30 in the afternoon. Our train ride was very nice, although the train was 20 minutes late arriving in Iselin, NJ. Vic is slowly healing from the surgery. He still has pain from time to time especially after eating or standing too long. He drove for the first time today to go for bloodwork and that basically wore him down for the rest of the day. He's looking forward to having his staples removed on Friday - his primary doctor in Sparta has agreed to remove them so that means we won't have to go back to Baltimore until June 5th, when he's scheduled to have his blood clot filter removed. We have already made reservations to stay there overnight since this is considered same-day surgery and Vic will most likely have to rest the balance of the day after having the filter removed. For now, Vic is taking one day at a time.

Coming Home!

Vic got the okay from his doctors and we're coming home tomorrow via train. The doctors prefer that we take the train (although, an added expense) as it will only be a 2 hour ride and Vic can get up and walk around the train to avoid any issues with blood clots that could happen in a car ride. The "hole" in his belly is not infected and there should be no problem with it healing normally but it will take longer to heal than the rest of the incision. We have to come back in two weeks to have the staples removed and then again the first week of June to have his "filter" removed. We were given a copy of the surgeon's report with a copy to give to Vic's oncologist in Morristown. The report didn't include the pathology report or the chemical treatment report, which should be available when we return to Baltimore. I'll let everyone know how we made it home and I will be updating this blog from time to time as things change.

Once again, Victor and I would like to express our gratitude for all of your concerns, prayers and good wishes. God Bless you All!
Barb B

Little Setback

Vic had to see the surgeons again this morning. He started bleeding from the incision (actually where his belly button used to be). They had to take out 6 staples and "pack" the area with gauze, which unfortunately, I will have to repack and dress 3 times a day. (I knew I should have become a nurse instead of a secretary). We will have to see the doctors again tomorrow to check on my "work" and make sure he isn't developing a fever. His sugar was extremely low this morning and the doctor was also concerned about that - his medications will have to be adjusted again. This setback is a little disturbing but we're still hoping he'll be well enough to come home on Saturday as planned.

Update - In Limbo

Hi everyone - I'm still here in Baltimore. Nothing has changed, I'm still in pain and trying not to take too many painkillers so that I can function. I try to take small walks a few times a day but the weather hasn't been cooperating. I have no diet restrictions but it doesn't matter because I've been eating about one tenth of what I normally eat. We're just counting the hours until we can come home on Saturday. In the meantime, I've been keeping up to date with all the comments made to this blog and once again, I want to thank everyone.
Vic B